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Friday, July 15, 2011

Kotor, Cekap dan Amanah

Remove Bersih with Kotor?
Malaysian government to remove ‘Bersih’

By AsamLaksa, made-up journalist

Today the Home Minister announced that Malaysians have decided on a ruling to ban the usage of the Malay word ‘bersih’ and remove it from history. The minister adds, “It is now a bad word, something that you should not say in front of your parents. It will not be ‘ber...apanama’ but ‘bers**t’.”

‘Bersih’ meaning ‘clean’ will be replaced with ‘kotor’ as soon as the legislation is gazetted. ‘Kotor’ is currently in use meaning dirty.

“The people in the government will start using ‘kotor’ today before the whole of Malaysia. So from now on, I say I am sangat kotor, the PM is kotor, (and) the government is kotor. This law will also be retro(spective) and we will work with Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka to change all old Malay books and writings. So past slogans will be Kotor, Cekap, Amanah. Very easy.”

As to the reason for this move, the honourable minister said, “We have reason for this.”

What about material bearing the word? “We will check all books. We give time for people to hand in books. Customs will seize all foreign books with the word and fine the importer.”

What if someone uses ‘bersih’? “The law will punish those that use it. We plan maybe RM20,000 fine with 1 year jail.”

When pointed out that this would disqualify people from running for parliament the reply was, “That’s why we have laws. We must obey the law. We will also ask religious leaders to make religious ruling to make this word haram and a sin. The cabinet suggest that you go to hell for saying this word.”

Won’t this confuse the public? “I not confused. Are you confused?”

When asked if this applies to East Malaysia the minister replied, “Of course. Then we have no problem like that banner in Kota Kinabalu.”

On the fate of the colour yellow: “Yellow colour is not a problem.”

Asked about recent arrest related t yellow items, the reply was, “Why you reporters ask about yellow? You got problem with yellow? Don’t cari pasal make us look bad. Ban a word is easy, ban colour is crazy. All the arrest because the yellow used connected to bad word and foreign campur tangan.”

As to how much this exercise will cost, “Don’t worry about cost. We estimate RM150 million and we have appointed local company to do this. A site has already (been) identified for new incinerator.”

The minister closed with: “I am kotor. The government is kotor and takes care of all Malaysians.”


  1. Perkataan Bersih sudah menjadi ayat yang kotor?

  2. This article is true or just being sarcastic?

  3. Doesn't make sense at all.

  4. tukarlah pada ayat lain seperti kemas, cantik, telus.

  5. sekarang ni macam ada-ada saja pekara yang menjadi isu..

  6. setiap individu perlulah menilai sesuatu isu dengan bijak...jangan mudah terpengaruh dengan setiap isu yang dimainkan.

  7. Jadi, perkataan 'bersih' ni ditukar dengan apa pula?

  8. apa2 sahaja yang disentuh oleh politik semua jadi kotor..

  9. dengan mudah sahaja perkataan B****H ini diharamkan hanya kerana pemikiran kolot sesetengah orang...

  10. kalau warna kuning pun diharamkan, bagaimana pula dalam istana?

  11. If this unlikely story is true then Hisham should say at the end of the statement,'with this I happily announce my resignation as the Home minister from this kotor government.I also wish my colleagues who are still in this kotor government the very best and may their works be kotor and transparent for the benefits of the people.

  12. Harap perkara ini dapat diselesaikan dengan baiklah.

  13. How can the word "bersih" considered as dirty??this is absolutely ridiculous.

  14. This should be made into an issue the first place. People should be allowed to voice out.

  15. Hahaha... funny article. i like it. "Ban a word is easy, banning a color is carzy"....... means, jika kumpulan pemimpin badut yg diketuai oleh najib dan dicacai oleh muhy dan kerismuddin mengarahkan pengharaman warna kuning, habislah raja2 kita. Sultan2 tidak lagi boleh memakai atau menggunakan apa saja benda/barang/perhiasan yg berwarna kuning. jika sebelum mamakkhathir downgrade status dan kedudukan raja2 mungkin boleh lagi pasal masa tu raja2/sultan2 masi di atas undang2. jangan saja istana diraja dicat warna 'pink' la pasal ia nampak pelik utk disamatarafkan dgn status pemerintah. kalau bilik anak saya tidak apa jua la.